


Phileo

by Mythical-Ross (ScorchedAngel)



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Frottage, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Pre-Slash, Religion, Religious Guilt, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:21:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22453336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorchedAngel/pseuds/Mythical-Ross
Summary: The night before Link's wedding, he and Rhett discuss their feelings and what they might be about to give up.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	Phileo

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Agape](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19322002) by [Mythical-Ross (ScorchedAngel)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorchedAngel/pseuds/Mythical-Ross). 



> If you were ever a queer Christian kid or came from a Christian family, tread carefully (because I found it triggering and I wrote the dang thing). It contains an awful lot of speculation about R&L's personal lives and their religious views growing up and is in no way based on their real lives. If anything it's based on mine. If that makes you uncomfortable don't read it. Or read it anyway but don't @ me. (I wrote this before the EB episodes about he Lost Years and I haven't listened to them... if this contradicts anything they've actually talked about that's why)
> 
> **If any of this sounds familiar, it's because this is a rewrite of my old fic,[Agape](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19322002). **
> 
> **Agape was one of the first Rhink fics I wrote, and while I always liked the story I wasn't particularly happy with my execution of it.**
> 
> Still here? Oh good

Rhett shoved Link through the door of his childhood bedroom and deposited him on the bed. Link thought he’d been holding it together pretty well all evening, while every person in town who knew his name (or so it seemed) called around to wish him well, but as usual, Rhett saw right through him. It was probably just cold feet. It happened to everyone, right? 

When Link had proposed to Christy, he knew it was the right thing to do. He’d found a woman he loved, who loved him back and wanted to marry him. He knew it was the right thing to do as the months and weeks went on and he started thinking about what he was going to be giving up. He knew it was the right thing to do when he and Rhett started making plans for his bachelor party and his ‘last night of freedom’. Now, the night before the wedding, he was still pretty sure it was the right thing to do.

He flopped down on the edge of the bed and took a few deep breaths. He gave Rhett a small smile, grateful for his attention. After tomorrow, everything would be different between them. Why hadn’t be considered it sooner?

Rhett sat down beside him, looking straight ahead. After so many years of friendship, silence between them was never awkward. There were times when it was necessary. 

Sometimes it was still awkward with Christy.

“Just breathe,” Rhett said calmly. “It’s ok.” 

The sound of Rhett’s voice was incredibly soothing and Link hoped he might be able to convince him to stay with him until tomorrow.

Eventually, Link felt brave enough to voice the fear that had been building all these months. “Am I doing the right thing?”

Rhett looked up, raising an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” he said, his voice even.

Link sighed in frustration. Rhett knew what he was talking about. He had to. Rhett could practically read his mind. “Should I be getting married?”

Rhett hesitated before answering. “I think you’re the only one who can answer that,” he said. There was still no emotion in his voice, but the uncertain look on his face spoke volumes.

Link looked down at his hands. He didn’t want to just blurt out something he couldn’t take back without being sure how Rhett would react, but then, this was Rhett. They so often thought with one mind; surely with something as important as this they would be on the same wavelength? Still…

“You do understand what I’m saying don’t you?” Link hedged.

“I think so.” Rhett’s voice was quiet when he finally spoke. It was difficult for both of them to voice something that had been unsaid for such a long time.

Link shrugged dramatically, dropping his hands heavily into his lap. “After tomorrow, I’ll be married,” he said. “On track to be everything people expect - good little Christian boy, married by the time I’m 22, father by 23 raising a good little Christian family.” 

Rhett nodded. “And if you don’t?”

“If I don’t…” Link fell silent again. _ If I don’t, I could disappoint all my friends and family, admit I’m in love with someone else and abandon the one woman crazy enough to want to marry me. _

“Just say it Link,” Rhett said.

It was all the encouragement Link needed. “After tomorrow, you and I can only ever be friends,” he said, feeling immediately guilty for suggesting that their friendship isn’t something wonderful.

Rhett nodded sadly. If it was what he wanted to hear, it didn’t seem to bring him much pleasure. “Just friends,” he agreed.

“I love Christy so much, but I… Rhett...,” Link gave Rhett a helpless look. It had taken him such a long time to say ‘I love you’ to Christy. If nothing came of this conversation he didn’t want to diminish that. “How can one love be so good and one love be so bad?”

Rhett lifted a hand like he wanted to give Link a sympathetic touch, but seemed to think better of it. “There are different types of love,” he said instead. “Romantic love is-”

Link cut him off with a shake of his head. This wasn’t about semantics. “It’s the same,” he said earnestly. 

“Yeah,” Rhett said, giving in and placing a hand on Link’s thigh. “Me too.”

Link covered Rhett’s hand with his own and looked up into his eyes, grateful he always knew just what he meant. Link couldn’t stand Rhett’s hopeful expression and had to look away. 

“People have been mistaking me for gay since I was a teenager,” Link said. “Maybe they were right.” He could barely believe he was saying those words out loud, even passively. But if he couldn’t say it to Rhett, who could he say it to? “What if subconsciously, I’m just trying really hard to prove them wrong?”

Rhett didn’t speak for a moment. He turned his hand over under Link’s grip and laced their fingers together. “It’s okay if you are you know.”

Link almost laughed at the absurdity of it. “You don’t believe that,” he said, giving Rhett a look. The only thing he was certain of in the whole situation was that same-sex attraction is a sin in the eyes of God. “It’s, you know… a sin,” he added just to be clear. 

“Yeah well, so is lying. Even to yourself,” Rhett pointed out. “Homosexuality didn’t even make the top ten.”

Link gave him a small smile and shook his head. Rhett was trying to excuse something that couldn’t be excused. “I’ve asked God over and over to take these feelings away,” he said. The only time he’d ever been able to admit his feelings was in prayer. “Why would he make me like this and then say it’s wrong?”

“Exactly,” Rhett said. “Because God doesn’t make mistakes. There’s nothing wrong with the way you feel.”

Link suddenly felt awkward. Church had been a shared part of their lives for as long as he could remember, but it wasn’t something they usually had to talk about out loud. “We don’t talk much about faith stuff, do we? You think this is why?”

“Could be,” Rhett said, not elaborating. 

Perhaps he was hoping for a change of subject, but it just allowed Link’s thoughts to get bleaker. He was quiet for a moment before asking, “Am I going to Hell?”

Rhett seemed genuinely shocked at the suggestion. “Of course not!” he said quickly. “We haven’t done anything wrong.”

_ We... _

“I guess,” Link said. “But isn’t thinking about it just as bad as doing it?”

Rhett made a small indistinguishable sound. His head nodded forward, but he looked sideways at Link. “You’ve been thinking about it?”

“Have you?” 

“I have, yeah…”

“Me too.” 

Link sighed again. It was all happening too late; it wouldn’t make a difference. “Why didn’t we have this conversation years ago instead of the night before my wedding?” 

“What are you saying?” Rhett asked, lifting his head. “If we’d talked about it sooner…”

Link met Rhett’s gaze. He’d pretty much already admitted it. “Things would be different,” he said with a shrug. 

“Are you saying you want to be with me?” Rhett said, tightening his grip on Link’s hand.

Link didn’t say anything and tried instead to withdraw his hand. Rhett wouldn’t let go.

“Why can’t you say it?” Rhett pushed.

Link felt like crying. His friendship with Rhett worked because so much was implicit. Why was Rhett insisting on hearing the actual words this time? “You’re not saying it either.”

Rhett gave a small nod before he took both Link’s hands in his and turned his body to face him. “I want to be with you,” he said with such sincerity that Link couldn’t stop the tears.

“Rhett…” he started, shaking his head. It was ridiculous. Rhett wasn’t being serious so why was he torturing Link like this when it was too late to do anything about it.

“Why not? Let’s marry each other instead.”

Link took a moment to consider just what that would be like. He’d have to tell Christy. He’d have to tell his family. He’d have to tell everyone they’d invited to the wedding. He imagined his mom telling his Nanny. He imagined his dad telling his work colleagues why the wedding didn’t happen. He imagined telling the other guys in their Men’s Group and what they’d think… how they’d be judged. Not for the first time, he wondered exactly how different his life would be if he spent the rest of it with Rhett instead of Christy.

Before he had time to form an answer Rhett leaned forward until their mouths were mere inches apart. Link gasped at the sudden proximity. He could smell Rhett’s breath - like the fruit punch his mom had been serving. He closed his eyes against the temptation. "Kiss me," Rhett whispered.

Link didn’t move, his face wet with tears. Admitting his feelings was one thing; acting on them was another. “I can’t,” he whispered back.

“You can,” Rhett urged, still not closing the gap himself. “No one has to know.”

Link sighed and turned his head away. “ _ We’ll _ know.”

Rhett lifted his hand to Link’s jaw and turned his face back towards him. A shiver ran through Link’s whole body as Rhett stroked his scruffy cheek with his thumb. He’d never touched him like that before.

“Cut it out man,” Link said with absolutely no conviction. When he met Rhett’s gaze he noticed he was crying as well. He was slowly realizing just how strongly Rhett felt about him. “Oh gosh Rhett,” he said, pulling him into a hug. “What are we going to do?” 

Rhett hugged him tightly not holding back the sobs shaking his whole body. “We’ve been idiots,” he said into Link’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Link admitted. He breathed in Rhett’s scent, finding comfort in the sense memories it evoked. Part of him wanted to just stay there cuddling with his best friend and forget about his problems and the rest of the world.

They clung to each other until Rhett’s sobbing had subsided, their tears soaking into one another’s clothes. Rhett was the first to move, turning his head into the crook of Link’s neck. 

Link felt like his heart stopped beating as Rhett pressed his lips to the exposed skin of Link’s neck. The next kiss was slightly higher and closer to his jaw. The stubble on Rhett’s chin made Link all too aware of just who was kissing him. “Rhett, stop,” he breathed.

“Do you really want that?” Rhett asked, his words vibrating against Link’s throat.

Link hesitated. If Rhett left the room now it would be like someone ripping the heart from his chest. “No,” he said softly.

“Then kiss me.” 

Link moved away slightly so he could look Rhett in the eyes. He wasn’t being fair. He knew they were both caught up in the moment. He knew they were already dangerously close to crossing the line. It had all started with a simple yes-no question and had turned into a loaded request that Link was too weak to deny. He moved forward slowly, afraid of what would happen when their lips touched - even more afraid of what would happen if they didn’t.

Rhett finally closed the gap and pressed his lips to Link’s. He had always been the brave one.

Link saw stars. His heart was certainly beating now. He lifted his hand to Rhett’s jaw and pulled him closer as Rhett hooked an arm around his waist. Link allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of Rhett’s big hands on his body. They had touched before, but it had always come with a sense of panic that it might be misinterpreted - that someone might think they were more than friends. He thought it would feel wrong to kiss another man, but it didn’t. But then this wasn’t just any man.

Link slipped his free hand under Rhett’s t-shirt and felt the soft skin underneath. He remembered every time he’d ever seen Rhett reach above his head, or bend over, revealing the small strip of skin he was forbidden to touch. The temptation had almost been too much for him. He moved his hand from Rhett’s side to his lower back, trailing his fingers in circles and earning a contented little grunt from Rhett. 

He was afraid to move his hand any higher or lower in case that was what Rhett considered ‘going too far’. He didn’t want to break the spell so soon. He needn’t have worried though as soon Rhett’s intentions were unmistakable. He pushed gently at Link’s chest, trying to encourage him onto his back. The thumb circling his nipple couldn’t be anything but intentional.

Link leaned back onto his elbow and shuffled up the bed. Rhett barely let their lips separate, following Link into the new position. Rhett hadn’t been in Link’s childhood bedroom since they’d left for college, but they’d shared so much history here. Their first sleepover, listening to music, writing their first songs together, planning their future… and now this.

Rhett held himself up and looked down at Link underneath him. Link felt his cheeks redden. He wasn’t meant to have boys look at him like that.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Link said

“Like what?” Rhett said innocently.

“Like… you know. Like I’m a girl,” Link replied.

“Like I think you’re attractive?” Rhett clarified with a small smile.

“Geez Rhett,” Link said, looking away. “Yeah. Stop it.”

Rhett bent down and kissed him again and Link was brought back to the moment. Rhett’s hands were all over him, exploring the shape of his body - his waist, his stomach, his rips, his shoulder blades. A part of Link had always wanted Rhett to touch him like this (perhaps a larger part than he was ready to admit) and the thought that this would be their only chance was almost enough to bring him to tears once more. 

Rhett was invading all of Link’s senses. He could barely think of anything else. He brought one hand up to grip the back of Rhett’s head, pulling him closer and enjoyed the slightly alien feeling of stroking his soft, short hair. He ran his other hand along Rhett’s back and tried to reach his ass. His arms weren’t long enough though, so he settled for dipping his fingers under the waistband of Rhett’s jeans.

Link’s tongue seemed to have a mind of its own. He couldn’t resist licking his way into Rhett’s mouth to taste every part of him.

It wasn’t until Link pulled Rhett completely down on top of him that he realized Rhett had a hard-on. Link tried not to react but he couldn’t help it. He’d gotten boners from kissing girls before, but he’d never caused one. It served as a reminder that he and Rhett were doing something forbidden; not to mention just how far they could potentially go.

He nudged Rhett’s shoulder slightly to get him to stop. “Rhett, I don’t wanna…” he started, too embarrassed to even say the words. “Christy and I haven’t even done it.”

Rhett gave him a sympathetic smile. “That’s okay. Me neither,” he said. “We can stop if you want.”

“I think we should.”

“Okay.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“Me neither.”

Neither moved, instead staring intensely into each other’s eyes. Link’s hand was still tucked into the back of Rhett’s pants.

This was probably the last chance to turn back. Link knew once he gave in, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. But then… they’d already come this far. If people went to Hell for acting on their homosexual impulses, surely it was too late for him. He sighed. “I guess I’m going to Hell now anyway.”

“Link,” Rhett said, moving his hand to cup Link’s face. His voice was full of sympathy. “God will forgive you.”

Link gave a small “hmmm”. Redemption requires repentance and he wasn’t feeling particularly sorry right now.

Rhett gave a little nod of encouragement. “So can I kiss you again?”

In answer to his question, Link pulled Rhett’s face back down and kissed him fiercely. It was wet and all teeth and tongue, but it was raw and masculine and completely unlike anything he’d experienced before.

Their bodies slotted together so perfectly, it seemed crazy that they’d never done this before. Link had felt his dick twitching with interest a number of times already, but he didn’t realize how hard he was until Rhett started grinding his hips down into him.

Rhett moved a tentative hand down Link’s body towards the bulge in his jeans and Link moaned quietly, doing his best to urge Rhett on. Rhett’s touch was feather-light, making Link tingle all over. He thrust his pelvis up, practically placing his cock in Rhett’s hand.

Link’s breath caught in his throat when Rhett started awkwardly unbuttoning his jeans. Rhett was undressing him. They were really doing this. Link wiggled his hips to help move things along.

“Can I?” Rhett gasped against Link’s lips, pawing at the elastic of his underwear.

“Just do it,” Link whispered back. At this point, he was a little scared of what he might say yes to.

Rhett wasted no time, plunging his hand into Link’s underwear and pulling out his erection. Link gasped when Rhett’s hands touched the bare skin of his cock. No one else had ever touched him like that… not even a doctor. At the same time, Link got to work opening Rhett’s jeans. Link was practically thrusting into Rhett’s hand by the time both their cocks were exposed.

Rhett scooted up the bed a little so their crotches were level and he could hold them both in one hand. He looked down at the space between them, knotting his eyebrows together. 

“Just spit,” Link said, answering Rhett’s unasked question. He didn’t like to admit to even masturbating so he would never buy something Aww lube. Usually, the best he could hope for was a few guilty, dry pulls into a tissue.

Rhett nodded and spat into his hand before taking them both in his huge grip. He kept his hand steady and rocked his hips forward, sliding them against each other. 

Link could only imagine what sex was like, but he couldn’t imagine anything better than this. Maybe it was just because it was Rhett whom he already loved so so much. He worried he might never feel this good again.

Link felt like a horny teenager, about to come after a few seconds of pressure. He didn’t want this moment to end and tried his best to hold back. Rhett seemed to sense his predicament and took his hand away, easing the pressure. Instead, he rested his forehead against Link’s and started humping against him, moaning softly.

Link hardly had time to adjust to the new sensation before he felt an orgasm building. He groped for Rhett’s head and pulled him down. He was too far gone to actually kiss him, but his lips ghosted across Rhett’s, sharing his breath. Soon he couldn’t hold back any longer and he came harder than he ever had before, gasping against Rhett’s lips. He quickly lifted his hand to cover the tip and try to prevent a mess on his clothes.

Rhett only had to give himself a few more strokes before he was coming in his own hand as well. Link had never heard him make a noise quite like it.

They lay still for a moment, breathing heavily, both too stunned to move.

“Oh goodness,” Link said eventually. He was quickly coming down from his high and the gravity of what had just happened was crashing down around him.

“Uh huh,” Rhett said, before rolling over to lie beside Link on the small twin bed. Link tried not to look as he wiped his hand on his underwear and tucked himself back into his clothes.

Link lifted his hand and stared at the white liquid smeared on his palm. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He wasn’t the kind of guy to cheat on his fiancée, but here he was looking right at the evidence. “Am I still a virgin?” he asked dumbly. “Actually, don’t answer that.” He already knew the answer and he didn’t like it.

“What are we gonna do?” Rhett said, his voice almost breaking.

Link sighed and shook his head. “The same thing we always do. Exactly what everyone expects of us.”

A sudden knock at the door made them both jump. Link sat up abruptly and tried to stuff his dick back into his jeans.

“Link honey, are you coming down?” Link’s mom called from the other side of the door. “Everyone wants to wish you luck before they go home.”

“Yeah Mom,” Link shouted back, scanning the room for something to clean his hand on. “I’ll be there in a minute. I’m just practicing my toast for Rhett.”

“Okay sweetie, don’t take too long.”

Neither spoke until they heard her footsteps disappear downstairs.

Link couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Some things never change, huh? Is my mom ever gonna stop interrupting me making out or jerking off?” Rhett laughed too as he sat up and joined Link on the edge of the bed.

“I guess I should get back,” Link said when his giggles had subsided.

“Yeah,” Rhett nodded. “I should get going.”

Link was quiet for a moment. They both knew what decision he was going to make, but he didn’t want to say it just yet. “I want you to stay.”

“I want to stay too, but if I don’t leave now, I probably never will.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, taking Rhett’s hand in his clean one.

“That’s never going to happen,” Rhett said sincerely. “We can always be together, just in whatever way is appropriate.”

“ _Appropriate_ ,” Link repeated, laughing bitterly. He looked Rhett in the eye and gave him a small smile.

“Yeah,” Rhett said, looking down at their joined hands. “I can’t believe we never did this before.”

“Impeccable timing.”

Rhett lifted his hand to Link’s jaw and gave him one last lingering kiss. Link did his best to take in every possible detail. From the rough feeling of Rhett’s stubble to the softness of his lips. The tenderness was almost too much for him and he broke away before he could start crying again. Rhett stroked his cheek gently before getting to his feet.

“Everything’s going to work out just fine. You’ll see,” Rhett said. Link could tell he wasn’t as confident as he was trying to sound.

“I know,” Link said, staring at his hands.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”


End file.
